Got $1,295? Then I’m sure you’ll eagerly pay to hear “the world’s most informed, most influential investors” teach you the art of successful investing at a conference advertised in the September 30 Wall Street Journal (between pages analyzing the largest Dow point loss on record). “The Art of Successful Investing Conference,” October 20, is sponsored by RBC Capital Markets and Wilmington Trust. So make sure you drop all your plans — “Reserve your seat today!” — and head to New York. Oh, and you better make sure you show up to get your money’s worth. A portion of your fee is nonrefundable. Boy. Can’t wait to hear what Wall Street can teach me.